New Pope, the guy from Cheers!

So we elected a new Pope. So much for all that crap that the fastest way a Cardinal can take themselves out of the running is to campaign. We heard Cardinal Ratzenburg(er) had 50 votes going into the conclave.I have a lot of respect of the office of Pope, but this guy is 78. . .can we say "rebound" Pope?!?! I have a feeling this conclave was a dry-run for a conclave to elect someone else later on down the road.The guy elected is from Germany and was briefly a member of the Hitler/Nazi youth. He says that he didn't want to join as a teen, but that membership was compulsory. RRIIGHHTT. I didn't mean to do a lot of things in my life but I did them anyway. There comes a time when you either take a stand or you sit back. He sat back. To me, it sends a message that the Catholic Church is not interested in reconciling their role in WWII and with the Jews.I'm disappointed by his selection . . . and I'm Jewish.

And if you didn't already think I was nuts. . . .

Noah had a cold but we took him to the County Fair anyways. Nothing special. But a fair is not a fair unles you eat something deep-friend so we got a plate of deep fried Oreo's. The cookies were covered in powdered sugar and to make a long story short, a breeze caused me to knock the plate all over Noah. Poor kid was COVERED in powdered sugar. He was stunned. We should have taken a picture but I don't think Dan was as amused as I was. Noah look liked Casper the Ghost (or a Klansman).HEHEHE

Noah, the prince of poop

Turth be told, I Noah loves to eat. And lately he loves to poop.When babies start eating baby food doctors will tell you that you give babies one new food a week, or a new food once a day for three days. I always thought this was done to make sure that babies didn't have allergies but as I am learning, it is also done to make sure their stomachs can handle it. Apparently Noah's stomach can't handle it because I was asked today to take it easy on the solid food.While at daycare, he poops nonstop. Dan liks it because the more he poops there, the less he poops at hime. Today was the third day that his clothes have come home in a baggie. Interestingly, he is always wearing the same pair of shorts when this happens. Today Noah got poop on his shorts and they left him in his t-shirt and diaper. Then he decided to show everyone how he can take off his poopy diaper all by himself. I suppose I should be pleased with his hand-eye coordination, but his teachers were not amused.So we will lay off the pears & pineapples for a while. As well as the plums & applesauce. One food at a time.And on top of all this, there is one teacher in his room who likes to give me a hard time about letting him wear shorts. She claims that they are too tight around his waist (which they're not) and that they are too hard to get him in and out of. Maybe so, but I am not replacing all his clothes. His shorts sag and his diaper hangs out. All he needs is a wife beater and he will double for Kevin Federline.

I love Israeli Chocolate

The Program Director where I work is a girl named Kim. Kim just got back from a 10 day confernece in Israel and for the staff she brought back two big bags of Israeli chocolate. I LOVE ISRAELI CHOCOLATE!!!!!!! It is SOOOOOOOOO creamy and smooth. Makes me miss Israel.

Princesses

I have to work late tonight because I am the manager on duty. Which basically means that if the building burns down it is my responsibility to make sure that everyone leaves the building, that someone calls 911, and that my boss gets called. I can call my boss but I think that people can take care of the other items themselves.Tuesday nights are also interesting because it is Hebrew High School night. For those of my friends not in the tribe (Jewish) this means that a couple hundred Jewish teens come to take classes on all things Jewish and to socialize with their peers. I'm an alum of Hebrew High in Phoenix. Except when I was in the program we cut a lot of classes and went to the mall. But that is a separate story.I am telling you all this because tonight I was in the lobby and a girl walked in wearing a shirt that said "Juicy American Princess." And last week at the community-wide celebration for Israel's 57th birthday I saw a young girl with a shirt that read "Jewish Princess."What the hell is wrong with these girls? Do they NOT realize that being called a JAP (Jewish/Juicy American Princess) isn't a compliment? That it is a HUGE put down? I would have decked someone for calling me that.

LOOOOONG Week Part II (stakes and golf balls)

This week I have been hanging out at Arizona Bike Week 2005. . .trying to sell $10 raffle tickets where the winner will receive a 2005 Harley-Davidson Fat Boy motorcycle in cobalt. Let's face it, I am not a biker chick. But our booth was near "Bad Ass Bikes" and across from "OneBadBitch.Com" where the motto is "quality stiches for quality bitches." In all fairness I was NOT looking forward to having to be out there this week but in the end I had a good time. Just about all the bikers we met were really nice and we made friends with the people around us. I also saw some really raunchy shirts. I think my favorite was "Does this condom make me look fat."But I digress.Bike Week is held in North Scottsdale at a place called Rawhide, which is basically a western town for tourists. The area is not paved. . .just dirt. And since I chose fashion over function I wore flip-flops. Today that decision bit me in the arse because while working the booth I tripped over a stake in the ground and sliced open one of my toes. It bled A LOT and Rawhide security came and helped me clean off the area and gave me band-aids. I am particularly proud of the fact that I did not get any of the blood on my clothes since my $12 pants from Target are really more important than my poor toe. My co-workers thought I needed stitches and a tetanus shot. I will get the shot, but band-aids and neosporin will have to do in lieu of stitches. I went to an urgent care clinic tonight as a precaution and there was a two-hour wait for a doctor whose accent was so thick I could not understand a word he said. And accents don't usually bother me. He thought I needed stitches but I thought waiting that long was pointless. And despite being able to use workman's comp I'd still have to front $200. I'd rather lose a toe.And if this wasn't bad enough, I stopped to pick up dinner and discovered that someone had shoved a GOLF BALL into the grill of my car which chipped off a piece of the grill in the process. WTF?!?!? The toe injury was an accident but this was deliberate. And this is NOT the first time someone has damaged my car and fled the scene without leaving a note (someone took off a side mirror less than a month after I bought the car). What the hell is wrong with people? I am almost positive this happened while I was out at bike week and I am so angry because I will need to get the entire grill replaced. And I thought I was done dealing with the nasty people at the VM dealership.My car is cursed. I really think my Jewish ancestors are pissed that I am driving a German car (a.k.a hitler-mobile) and they are haunting me from the grave.

The LOOOOOONG week

Add this to the annals of "stuff that could only happy to Toby"Last Saturday I went to get my nails done and when I came home we decided to go run some errands as a family. I'm not sure how it happened but I ended up getting the front of hair wet (who knows). So I took out my trusty round brush and my hair dryer to dry it out. BIG MISTAKE. Before I realized what had happened, the hair dryer shorted out and singed off a chunk of hair. Right in the middle of my forehead. The entire bathroom smelled of burnt hair and I now had a small tuft of hair sticking straight up. Needless to say I was NOT a happy camper. I called my hairdresser on her cell phone but she was not able to help me (she was tye-dyeing?!) so out of desperation I called one of the hairdressers at the nail salon a go to. Thank goodness for Toni because she trimmed off the area in question so it is not nearly as noticeable. If you were to stand right in front of me you might wonder why I have a patch of hair that is only 1.5 inches long in the middle of my head. But you keep your thoughts to yourself because you know that saying something would be MEAN and RUDE!

Myers Brigg/ENTJ

At work they have all the managers and department heads take the Myers Briggs personality test to determine our personality styles and to get a sense of how we will work together in a team. And just in case you are wondering, I was assured in advance that I would not be fired once the results came back.According to the test, I am an ENTJ. This stands for extroverted, intuitive, thinking, judging. For those of you without a psychology background this test confirmed what we already knew about me. . .that I am an anal-retentive extrovert. I love people and to socialize, but I also like to plan and organize things. According to the handy-dandy booklet I was given with my results "[I] have little patience with confusion or inefficiency, and can be tough when toughness is demanded." The book also said I may need to learn the art of appreciation. The book also made me feel like I am a total bitch. I hate that book. But in fairness, my N could just as easily been replaced with an S for sensing (my raw score in this category was tied) so maybe I am not as nasty as Mr. Myer's and Ms. Brigg's think. I told this to the coach who administered the exam and she showed me another explanation of my results that was more positive.And just for the record, while the coach was VERY nice, are coaches the new consultants? It seemed for a while like everyone was a consultant and now more and more people are becoming coaches. What's the difference?

Bike Week. . .what the hell am I going to wear?

So the JCC is raffling off a HArley Davidson "Fat Boy" motorcycle. Since Arizona Bike Week is going on we are selling tickets at Cyclefest, which from what I can tell is an an opportunity for vendors and groups to sell their biker gear. In addition to having to sit out at the booth next week several times, I have to go out there on Sunday afternoon.I AM SO NERVOUS ABOUT THIS!!!!Why you may ask? For starters, I am not exactly what you call a biker chick. I don't ride motorcycles because if I ever did I would probably fall off and then the bike would come back and run me over. Because stuff that absurd only and always seems to happen to me. In addition, I also don't have the biker chick look. Without throwing myself a pity party, let's just say that I do not look like someone who you would find draped over a bike looking even remotely sexy. Sucks, but that's life.Again I ask the question, what the hell do I wear to this thing? I hope we have the bike on display at our booth so people have something intersting to look at other than me.

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Noah has survived his stuffy nose and is basically "well." I know I sound like a horrible mom by saying this, but he had a cold. . .not the ebola virus. I was more concerned about the fact that the kid had no appetite since he loves to eat his fruit and veggies. The ped. had us give him pedialyte which is basically gatorade of babies. Problem was that Noah would rather drink that than formula (I can hardly blame him. . . formula smells like crap). Think about it. . which would YOU prefer? Bottom line is that he is all better now.We took Noah to his first "Tot Shabbat" this evening. Dan's not sure if he enjoyed the experience because he is so young but in my opinion the kids enjoys anything that doesn't make him cry.